Saturday night was the celebration of a good friend’s birthday. All went well until one of the fellows there had a wee bit too much to drink and decided to demonstrated this by (a) jumping into the swimming pool fully clothed and (b) upon returning to my friend’s apartment suffered an urge contrary to swallowing. On the carpet. In prodigious quantities.
To make matters worse, my first aid kit was back at my apartment in my Europe travel back (still need to unpack) instead of in my car. Cleaning up various bodily fluids (and the occasional solid – yuck) without nitrile gloves is Not A Pleasant Experience(tm). Fortunately, the apartment owners had a considerable quantity of plastic grocery bags*, and those served reasonably well as makeshift gloves.
The fellow in question then remained in the bathroom for about three hours (while I tended to him for about two and a half hours) before sobering up enough to be driven home without befouling my car.
Morals of the story:

  • Always keep a basic first aid kit handy. While the numerous bandages and whatnot would have been useless, the three pairs of nitrile gloves would have been excellent. I should see about putting a few extra pairs of gloves into my car.
  • Don’t be That Guy. Birthday parties are fun events, with good friends, good food, and plentiful drinks. Having a few drinks can be relaxing and help liven up the mood a bit…but don’t be a bonehead and knock back 14 shots of vodka after drinking several beers and alcopops. It will be coming back up again.
  • Don’t barf on someone else’s carpet. The only thing that I can imagine as more rude is trying to grope the hostess who is trying to help you to the bathroom, clean you up, and clean up your mess.
  • Don’t grope the hostess. Or her female friends. Really. Not a turn-on.

* Note to Hippies: Plastic bags serve useful purposes. A cloth bag would be totally inappropriate here.

One thought on “Ugh”

  1. how incredibly awful! you would think at this stage in our lives our peers would know not to drink enough to yack all over the place. and poor you, being the one to clean it up! you are a quality pal. many i know would have thrown that guy out in the bushes and left him there until he expelled everything. 😉

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