The Arizona Rifleman » Humor

Righthaven is back, with a twist

Arizona Rifleman — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 20:07:17 +0000

Remember all the fun times with copyright troll Righthaven?

A Swiss ISP acquired Righthaven’s domain name in a court-ordered auction and intends to offer web hosting service to publishers worried about the type of abusive threats that the old Righthaven was known for.

Oh, the irony.

Football Fun

Arizona Rifleman — Mon, 04 Oct 2010 01:10:25 +0000

Football Ref on TV: “Neutral Zone infraction…”

Me: “Neutral Zone? What the hell? Isn’t that what separates the Romulans from the Federation?”

Wife: [laughing, followed by detailed, informative explanation]

I love being married to a nerdy, intelligent woman who likes football and beer.

Wear your seat belt

Arizona Rifleman — Tue, 28 Sep 2010 03:04:59 +0000

Ha!

Arizona Rifleman — Tue, 21 Sep 2010 03:08:14 +0000

The internet is awesome.

I’ll see your post and raise you

Arizona Rifleman — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 04:39:33 +0000

SayUncle recently posted a link to Exploding Blog, which has lots of explosions.

Sure, it’s cool, but Explosions and Boobs is a bit more fun.

Amused

Arizona Rifleman — Sun, 22 Aug 2010 18:20:30 +0000

ADT

Arizona Rifleman — Thu, 12 Aug 2010 21:14:48 +0000

I came across an online ad that stood out to me today: it was an ad for ADT, and consisted of the text “Feel safe for only $1 a day”, referring to the cost of their monitoring service.

Personally, I think it’s rather silly. I can “feel safe” by simply ignoring any potential threats, and this costs me nothing. Of course, that’s rather foolish.

This also reminds me of the absurd ADT commercial where a burglar attempts to break in while the helpless family is at home, the alarm sounds, and the burglar flees. The police are notified, and presumably arrive at some point in the future. Of course, they never mentioned what would happen if the burglar didn’t flee…

By having a means to defend myself — rather than relying on others — I can not only feel safer, but I can be safer.

That said, a burglar alarm is a useful when one isn’t at home, as it can notify the police if someone is breaking into one’s house. $30/month still seems a bit excessive; I wonder if there’s some sort of lower-cost (or free?) internet-based monitoring, or perhaps even self-monitoring? I’ll need to look into that.

Irresistible Force vs. Immovable Object

Arizona Rifleman — Fri, 06 Aug 2010 01:00:24 +0000

While perusing the intertubes today, I noticed an advertisement: “Beat Any Martial Arts Master” it claimed.

The advertised site then proclaimed that one could, after an exchange of money, become so skilled at this particular martial art that one could defeat anyone in close combat.

Now, what happens if someone who has completed this program were to get involved in a fight with someone else who has completed the program? I suspect some sort of world-shattering kaboom would ensue.

That’s Unpossible

Arizona Rifleman — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 02:58:21 +0000

I have no idea how I managed to seriously scuff up my wedding band, being made out of extremely hard tungsten carbide that is supposedly unscratchable, in a bit over a month of married life, but I have. Now, to see if the jeweler will replace it.

I promise I’ve not been trying to gnaw it off, honey.

Overheard at the Rifleman House

Arizona Rifleman — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 01:02:45 +0000

Me: “Honey?”
She Who Must Be Obeyed: “Yes?”
Me: “Have you seen my pistol?”
SWMBO: “Which one?”
Me: “The Springfield XD-45. Looks like the Glock, but bigger and uglier, if such a thing was possible…”
SWMBO: “Nope. Haven’t seen it around.”
Me: “In most houses, people run around looking for keys they’ve misplaced. In this house, we do it with pistols…”

Turns out I had left the pistol in its case, which is still boxed up somewhere in the house, but I had temporarily forgotten where I had placed it.